15 replies to this topic

[Dude111]

http://maddox.xmission.com/beat.html

I disagree totally!

HITTING,ETC DOES NOTHING BUT HURT THEM MENTALLY.....

When they do something bad,they should be delt with WITHOUT VIOLENCE (If possible)

[Le_Murphant]

err, dude, you should check your sources
http://en.wikipedia..../Maddox_(writer)
http://maddox.xmission.com/
Any other link on that last page will illustrate quite well what maddox is about.
What frightens me a little is that you consider that a debatable topic. The link itself did give me somewhat of a laugh though.

[tommie gorman]

I disagree with yo uand the vid dude. Punishment is meant to happen. "Spare the rod spoil the child"! But that does not mean beating, or for their whole life. my two kids have not seen a spanking for years. Once you let them know you do mean punishment will be used, reminders is all it takes, well maybe once  in a while a light spanking, which brings huge tears of embarrassment mostly.  Or a good time out.

But only talking does not good. And produces those in store whiners that are embarrassing and irritating to say the least. Mine never behave out in public.  They are 7 and 9 now. And two of the best behaved this side of the mississippi. 

[JokeyMcScrotsack]

I think there is better answer than violence. Humans resort to violence quickly, its in our DNA. That being said I do spank my kids. Well not so much anymore, one or two good spankings was all it took to let them know to listen. There is a difference in spanking and beating, and yes you can beat a child by hitting it on the butt too much or too hard. Its a tough subject but in the end it is up to the family to decide. It is nobody elses business.

[Dude111]

Violence doesnt solve anything!

[tommie gorman]

Lack of discipline teaches kids nothing.  Nothing was mentioned about violence. That is abuse. I'd rather enforce rules before my kids learn the hard way they exist to be obeyed. 

[pixiepistlz]

This IS on topic, so bear with me. Yes, its long. Sorry.

Once upon a time , when I was about a month to 2 months pregnant with my 1st child,  I got a job through my husband from a woman friend . He knew her whole family. They went way back. This was Black Oak area in Indiana in the 1994 time period. She needed a babysitter she said. It turned into a nightmare. She not only needed a sitter, but a caretaker for her dying husband, many years her senior and a housekeeper and tutor for her daughter, who was in kindergarden. (How much can one person really do with 3 kids, one a newborn on a heart monitor and a dying man)    I was up for the challenge.    It paid well and it got me away from my abusive hubby for a long while.    This married woman had a boyfriend and partied all the time!    She would say before she left to my husband and me when she would be back home. My husband would come to get me and she wouldn't return all night.    He made numerous stops to check in . Her husband would always ask me "Where's Sharon at?? that bitch, she's running around on me , isn't she??" I would say I didn't know, that she didn't tell me. OR I  would make excuses. He knew better. He was in a hospital bed , hooked up with a catheter and I forget what all. He was a SWEET old man.   I would bring the kids in ((not his, but he claimed them) to him and put them in his bed to hug him and sit with him. The oldest was 5 and a brat.    The 2nd was a little Houdini and 3 . Had to watch him like a hawk!..always used chairs to unlatch doors from way up high, ect...Like I said the 3rd was newborn. That monitor went off all the time (tommie would know about that ) and in between spoon feeding J.J. the old man and caring for the girl and house and keeping the boy inside and me pregnant and the mom not coming home til whenever, I had a handful and going nutty myself. The Grandma lived there too, but locked herself up in one of the bedrooms , so it was like she wasn't around. One time not too long into the job, a month maybe, my husband came to get me one day and Sharon was not home yet. My husband came into help me while we waited. I was glad. He usually sit out in the driveway and waited, sipping beer or Rum and coke. (had that thrown in my face many a time) He caught the little boy escaping as I was busy with J.J. and off he ran after him. They lived next door to a MAJOR interstate. Lots of semi's day and night... never ending traffic. Just an embankment and fence seperated the house from the interstate. The kid always headed toward the traffic. My husband got him and tanned his hide with his bare hand.   The kid was bawling and the mom came home about that time and was furious! screaming at my husband.He told her "You want a dead kid or one with a red ass?" She saw the red mark on his butt and started hitting my husband. He got in our truck with me beside him and she picked up a concrete cinderblock and threw it through our windshield. smashing it completely.   He jumped out and yelled how crazy she was that I was pregnant and she is endangering HIS kid.   He said that she could find another sitter that he wasn't bringing me over to care for her family again. We left with the busted windshield. Luckily the cops didnt stop us for it. .He was nervous as hell , we found a windshield for 50bucks cheap. Funny story how it got put in: My husbands friend Willy (white married man) was driving around with us one day and I was between the two. Willy was a little drunk and started rubbing the side of my breast unbeknownst to my husband.   I remember scooting closer to my hubby and he got mad telling me to quit crowding him while he is driving and shoved me closer to Willy!!    So after when we had a moment alone , I told him what happened and why I crowded him. He told Willy, "You mother fucker!.. My old lady told me what you did. Your an asshole! ..your gonna work for me for free , your putting that windshield in we just got and a bunch of other stuff!" Willy did as he was told. I guess what I am saying is I agree with spankings. Not abuse though on any level. Even emotional abuse. I was molested by my uncle. I know several different forms of abuse. Yes. guess I am purging my system today with this post and another earlier . I sure feel better now. Dammit , Roco!..you and your confessions thread idea. 

[ghostmaster]

Yeah Maddox is awesome.  I wish he'd start blogging often again.  Oh well...


Just dont take him seriously...check out the childs art..

[tommie gorman]

Just becase Roco suggests it does not mean you have to di it. 

[pixiepistlz]

You don't have a thing to worry your handsome head about....take a deep breath........breathe dammit!      <kidding>

[Roco]

Quote

Just becase Roco suggests it does not mean you have to di it. 

I am going to change my log in to C brown , "why is every one picking on me ?"
http://uk.youtube.co...h?v=Oxumz76eLP0

[tommie gorman]

Quote

I am going to change my log in to C brown , "why is every one picking on me ?"
http://uk.youtube.co...h?v=Oxumz76eLP0

That is fitting. 

[mudmanc4]

That page is nothing more than bullshit, I say this in a childish way because thats exactly what kind of person dies that sort of thing.

Punishment is needed, but not like that. Sure, we had our asses beat, but you know what ? It didn't make a difference. Still did what the hell I wanted, so what, I'm getting my ass beat again.  And I don't mean with objects like that page.

I speak with my boy, always have, I treat him as an adult when it comes to serious matters, I find out what he is thinking, get into his head, this way I can understand him, and work to help solve the issue, instead of taking anger out on him.  He's a straight A student, in the gifted classes, in fact he's top in his gifted class.

Sure, he does kid things, guess what , because he's a kid. That doesn't piss me off. 

[Roco]

Well , I kinda agree with Dude111 , and being a foster parent to a load of kids,  working with special needs kids ,  a parrent, and now a grandparent LOL ,
I will post my veiws later , and hope not to tread on any toes on the way ,
but all kids are diferent , and it's hard work to understand their needs at times ,
I always smile at folk that think their child is perfect , while everyones else's is a screaming brat  ,

[Roco]

Just my thoughts guys ,

Being a parent is said to be the greatest joy in life , and like all great things it comes at a price , your own life will never be as it was , so it is a big step that needs thinking about before you  get started , as it isn’t easy to trade them in like a car , a child is born like blank page in a book , it needs skilful writing on ,
The big mistake IMHO, is parents unload all their hang-ups and past experiences ,
Sure I was thrashed as a kid  so that’s the way to do it with my child ?, and I turned out OK.  maybe ,  ever wondered if you may have achieved more if you wasn’t ? ,
Raising a child can be like  harmony or total war ,  war never fully solves the problem , it just breeds resentment , the bully wins at a price , pre-emptive negotiations , often stops war , so think about what bought on the problem ,
The screaming kid in the shopping mall ,  is a typical scenario , every one tut –tuts and thinks what a poorly behaved child it needs a good thrashing ,  but nobody knows  why the child is behaving that way ,
A young Child has little needs , food ,warmth , wellbeing ( lack of illness, teething etc. young children have a low immune system  )  and importantly  lack of stress ,
Stress is one of the early developing senses in a child , it is part of natures defence mechanism .
So leading on from that , the child is at home watching a cartoon on the TV, playstation whatever  , Dad comes home from work after a bad day ,  mum has had enough of baby talk all day and wants to go shopping , Dad want’s a beer ,Mom wants to go out , some stress starts building , youngster want’s   to watch his entertainment ,
But no, it gets turned off without any questions asked , he is bundle in the car and off they go , dad swears at another driver , the stress is building ,
Inside the store all the child can see is rows of cans and boxes ,  he spots a box with a smiley tiger on the front , points to it , and Mom picks up the  box with a boring  picture of a old man wearing a silly hat , and say’s we are having this one as it’s good for you , WTF  ,  the child ain’t feeling so happy now , his day has been wrecked ,
So he starts crying ,  a natural reaction for a child , DAD  by now  may feel like joining in but knows he will embarrass himself , the stress levels have now gone sky high ,
Then comes the classic parent  saying ,

“If you don’t stop crying you will get a good slapping “   

LOL, never seen that make a child laugh ,

the way I see it , get to understand the child , get off your adult screwed up way of thinking , was what was good for you ,is automatically  good for our future generations ? ,  just look around at all the hate in this world ,

Btw No I ain’t Dr Spock , I am related to the other Spock  the one with the funny ears

[irvine25]

Violence will never be the solutions to the problems arising in people, communities and countries. To tolerate violence is welcoming another problem.