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I just literally figured out why I'm fat.


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#1 JokeyMcScrotsack

    If you go fast enough they can't tell how big it isn't.

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 08:57 PM

This is no shit. I was sitting here watching Family Guy with the wife and I thought "Id like a cigarette." Not a good habit, I know, but stay with me. I turn to the wife and say "Id like a cigarette."  She points over, about 10 feet max from where I am sitting. I look over there and as I am thinking "FUCK I dont want to get up Im comfy and my pipe is lit." I notice out of the corner of my eye one of man kinds greatest creations sitting within reach.

Nestle Flips.

Posted Image

F'ing sweet!

So I decide, without hesitation, that the cigarette I so desperately wanted earlier was too much trouble to walk ten feet for so I stuffed vulcanized shit in my mouth..... Nothing like having an epiphany.  :2funny: :2funny:

Breaking Update: The wife just got up to get her computer and without me asking handed me a cigarette. I said "Thank You your so sweet." And gave her one of these.  :kiss: Bottom line, I'm not fat because I'm lazy, apparently I'm fat because I'm just that damn lucky.I started out with jack shit and ended up with everything I wanted with barely having put out the effort to sit here and breathe heavy.... and sweat..... ah yes, fat people sweat... It sucks but what you gonna do, lose weight? HA!

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#2 ghostmaster

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 09:25 PM

One thing I started doing to lose weight was eating those mostly horrible "Smart Ones" and "Lean Cuisine" entrees for lunch everyday.  Saves me money on food too.

#3 JokeyMcScrotsack

    If you go fast enough they can't tell how big it isn't.

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 09:25 PM

Quote

One thing I started doing to lose weight was eating those mostly horrible "Smart Ones" and "Lean Cuisine" entrees for lunch everyday.  Saves me money on food too.
:haha: :haha: :haha: Doesnt work when you eat 4... Trust me on that one. Later on the pot you will understand how your decision was not a "Smart One" either.  :haha: Get it? Smart one..  :haha: Im fricking cute.

#4 tommie gorman

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 09:48 PM

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:haha: :haha: :haha: Doesnt work when you eat 4... Trust me on that one. Later on the pot you will understand how your decision was not a "Smart One" either.  :haha: Get it? Smart one..  :haha: Im fricking cute.
Yes you are sometimes.  :shocked: And I'd rather eat cardboard.  :tongue2:

All diet food tastes like crap, and is usually worse for you than the weight.  [nerdly]

#5 JokeyMcScrotsack

    If you go fast enough they can't tell how big it isn't.

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 09:52 PM

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Yes you are sometimes.  :shocked: And I'd rather eat cardboard.  :tongue2:

All diet food tastes like crap, and is usually worse for you than the weight.  [nerdly]
:smitten: :smitten: :smitten: ... :kiss:

#6 zalternate

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 10:04 PM

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Yes you are sometimes.  :shocked: And I'd rather eat cardboard.  :tongue2:


Mmmmmm. Cardboard with the pizza still attached.

#7 destructionfever

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 10:11 PM

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Yes you are sometimes.  :shocked: And I'd rather eat cardboard.  :tongue2:

All diet food tastes like crap, and is usually worse for you than the weight.  [nerdly]
Diet food does taste like crap, for the most part.

#8 AlucardHS

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 10:25 PM

it could be worse

http://www.youtube.c...PKQ&hl=en&fs=1

#9 tdawnaz

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 11:10 PM

shugar!!! WAIT!!! hold the f'ing presses!!! u smoke cigarettes??? omgosh i never knew that!! really?? say it ain't so...oh wait...ur a nurse...of course u smoke cigs...what was i thinking??... :haha: :haha:

and yes u are f'ing cute as my butt used to be...well most of the time...except when ur talking about gov't funded healthcare...with an insiders eye... then ur just kinda cute in a serious bite my ass sort of way [nerdly]


#10 destructionfever

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 11:19 PM

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then ur just kinda cute in a serious bite my ass sort of way [nerdly]
:haha: :haha: :haha:

#11 tommie gorman

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Posted 04 August 2009 - 11:38 PM

This thread is cute.  :2funny:

#12 JokeyMcScrotsack

    If you go fast enough they can't tell how big it isn't.

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Posted 05 August 2009 - 12:44 PM

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shugar!!! WAIT!!! hold the f'ing presses!!! u smoke cigarettes??? omgosh i never knew that!! really?? say it ain't so...oh wait...ur a nurse...of course u smoke cigs...what was i thinking??... :haha: :haha:

and yes u are f'ing cute as my butt used to be...well most of the time...except when ur talking about gov't funded healthcare...with an insiders eye... then ur just kinda cute in a serious bite my ass sort of way [nerdly]

:haha: :kiss: I only smoke now and again. I like the dip.  :uglystupid2: <--- Thats why my teeth look like this.  :evil6:

#13 Conuck

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Posted 05 August 2009 - 01:53 PM

Do you look like this? :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:





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