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Christmas Poems

tommie gorman

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So here is one I got in an e-mail. Anybody else have any? I hope it is presentable. I think so.


'Twas the night before Christmas

Old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,

Instead of "Thanks Santa" - - What do I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better

Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter.

They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny

Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And all the kids these days--they are all the pits.

They want the impossible--Those mean little shits.

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds

Assembling dolls--Their arms, legs and heads.

I made a ton of yo-yo's--No request for them,

They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM

Flying through the air...dodging the trees

Falling down chimney's and skinning my knees.

I'm quitting this job-there's just no enjoyment

I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment

There's no Christmas this year-now you know the reason,

I found me a Blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season.

Author unknown  :roll:

Gotta feel sorry for that fella.  :evil6:

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