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Beijing's penis emporium

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By Andrew Harding

BBC News, Beijing 

There are many thousands of Chinese restaurants around in the UK and everyone has their favourite dish, but only in China itself do chefs specialise in a range of slightly more unusual delicacies.

The dish in front of me is grey and shiny.

"Russian dog," says my waitress Nancy.

"Big dog," I reply.

"Yes," she says. "Big dog's penis..."

We are in a cosy restaurant in a dark street in Beijing but my appetite seems to have gone for a stroll outside.

Nancy has brought out a whole selection of delicacies.

They are draped awkwardly across a huge platter, with a crocodile carved out of a carrot as the centrepiece.

Nestling beside the dog's penis are its clammy testicles, and beside that a giant salami-shaped object.

"Donkey," says Nancy. "Good for the skin..."

She guides me round the penis platter.

"Snake. Very potent. They have two penises each."

I did not know that.

Deer-blood cocktail

"Sheep... horse... ox... seal - excellent for the circulation."

She points to three dark, shrivelled lumps which look like liquorice allsorts - a special treat apparently - reindeer, from Manchuria.

Government officials... two of them... they're having the penis hotpot

Nancy 

The Guolizhuang restaurant claims to be China's only speciality penis emporium, and no, it is not a joke.

The atmosphere is more exotic spa than boozy night-out.

Nancy describes herself as a nutritionist.

"We don't call them waiters here. And we don't serve much alcohol," she says. "Only common people come here to get drunk and laugh."

But she does offer me a deer-blood and vodka cocktail, which I decide to skip.

Medicinal purposes

The restaurant's gristly menu was dreamt up by a man called Mr Guo.

He is 81 now and retired.

After fleeing China's civil war back in 1949, he moved to Taiwan, and then to Atlanta, Georgia, where he began to look deeper into traditional Chinese medicine, and experiment on the appendages of man's best friend.

Apparently, they are low in cholesterol and good, not just for boosting the male sex drive, but for treating all sorts of ailments.

Laughter trickles through the walls of our dining room.

"Government officials," says Nancy. "Two of them upstairs. They're having the penis hotpot."

Most of the restaurant's guests are either wealthy businessmen or government bureaucrats who, as Nancy puts it, have been brought here by people who want their help.

What better way to secure a contract than over a steaming penis fondue.

Discretion is assured as all the tables are in private rooms.

The glitziest one has gold dishes.

"Some like their food served raw," says Nancy, "like sushi. But we can cook it anyway you like."

Rare order

"Not long ago, a particularly rich real estate mogul came in with four friends. All men. Women don't come here so often, and they shouldn't eat testicles," says Nancy solemnly.

The men spent $5,700 (

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ewwwww...did u see the photo of them hanging on a meat hook...i bet this is some sort of farce...

damn...no way!!! and the blood drink...shit...fricken parasites...viruses...anaerobic bacteria...raw meat is NOT sushi...

i don't believe a word of it...no fucking way...

i vote this the topic with the grossest content ever

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Ok , what do you like to eat for vitamins, other than out of the bottle?

I know there's somethin, mabey you just wont tell eh? :wink2::2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

let's see...fish, chicken, beef, pork, nuts, veggies, pasta/sauces, fruits, fruit and veggie juices, smoothies, protein shakes, etc nothin u can't serve to ur grndma

i eat all kinds of things...but NOT animal privates, or penis hot pockets...er whatever...but yeh no animal private parts...

oh wait actually i have had mountain oysters sheep and cattle...and i've eaten rattlesnake (but not his hemipenes)

Ohhh really.....comming from you that's a bit of a suprise....lol  :2funny:

mother nature only intended it to gobbled upon...not gobbled up... :) ...ask ur huny to show ya the difference  :evil6:

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no animal private parts...

oh wait actually i have had mountain oysters sheep and cattle...and i've eaten rattlesnake (but not his hemipenes)

mother nature only intended it to gobbled upon...not gobbled up... :) ...ask ur huny to show ya the difference  :evil6:

:2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

Okok , wait, how can u say those two things in the same sentence? No part, and sheep balls ?  :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

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let's see..., nuts, veggies, pasta/sauces, fruits, fruit and veggie juices, smoothies, protein shakes, etc nothin u can't serve to ur grndma

i

)

mother nature only intended it to gobbled upon...not gobbled up... :) ...ask ur huny to show ya the difference  :evil6:

LOL....I'll do that.....however ....I still might not get an answer.... :haha: :haha: :haha:

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Okok , wait, how can u say those two things in the same sentence? No part, and sheep balls ?

well cuz it wasn't private...we were in a public restaurant...and my son thought they were oysters til he asked the waitress what they were and she said "well huny they are the the part of the bull that makes him a steer...

they weren't private u see?...cuz we were in a restaurant and he didn't have to die for our meal...and it wasn't erectile tissue...

wait til they open a nipple emporium...fried nipple...tiger nipples...dog nipples...cow udder sushi...

see?

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well cuz it wasn't private...we were in a public restaurant...and my son thought they were oysters til he asked the waitress what they were and she said "well huny they are the the part of the bull that makes him a steer...

they weren't private u see?...cuz we were in a restaurant and he didn't have to die for our meal...and it wasn't erectile tissue...

wait til they open a nipple emporium...fried nipple...tiger nipples...dog nipples...cow udder sushi...

see?

OMG , so you say it's ok to eat the testies, but not whats hooked 1/4 inch away from it?  :2funny: :2funny: And how in the world did they get the nuts off a cow w/out killin it?  You eat the things while it's jumpin around er sumpthin ? :2funny: :2funny:

COUNT ME IN.....where is it....and who serves it.....wearing what..lol  [nerdly]

  I'll be there in line , IN FRONT OF YOU lol

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COUNT ME IN.....where is it....and who serves it.....wearing what..lol  [nerdly]

:2funny: :2funny:

it's right up the road from u...closes at 4:30...reopens next year

OMG , so you say it's ok to eat the testies, but not whats hooked 1/4 inch away from it?  :2funny: :2funny: And how in the world did they get the nuts off a cow w/out killin it?

yep that's right...their actually good on the inside...

the remove them surgically (castration)...they do it to all but 1 or 2 males in a herd when their just babies :)

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uh , let me get this strait , you think it's ok to mess w/ nature, and cut the life giving ability from an animal, and eat it, but when it aint what you want , or like, or agree with, it's bad , right?  You know, thats an extreme leftist view, right?  :?

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