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Huh, no odd world wide news going on since Oct ,

well, I will make this post " the last chance saloon "

Nearly one in five UK citizens 'to survive beyond 100'

Nearly one in five people currently in the UK will live to see their 100th birthday, according to the government.

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) said its figures suggested 10 million people - 17% of the population - would become centenarians.



Hmm. Must be our socialist health care system ? .

but I am not sure I would want to live to a 100, depends on the quality of life I guess,

I think the Hef has got it right

"Hugh Hefner is considering getting married. The 83-year-old Playboy founder admits he is happier than ever with 23-year-old girlfriend Crystal Harris and hasn't ruled out making their union official".


defiantly the way to step of this planet with style, they both benefit :evil6:

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He could afford two wives if they would put up with him. I wonder if that means he will be a one woman man again? :rolleyes:

:grin2: If I was that rich , why stop at 2 , I would have a Ferrari for each day of the week , B) , and take lessons on being cool ,

( much needed these days ), :grin2:


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Odd indeed ?


Judge rules inmate 'bitten on penis by rodent' may sue

Mr Solomon and county officials disputed whether the culprit was a rat or mouse A New York man who says a rat bit his penis during a jail stay may sue county officials, a judge has ruled.

Peter Solomon, who said he later had to endure a course of rabies jabs, says jailers knew the ward in which they placed him was infested with rodents.

He says the jail was negligent and mistreated him because he is black.



the rodent wasn't racist , but rat our mouse, ?,

LOl , the clue is in the teeth marks IMHO .not that I am an expert in teeth marks on the penis , unfortunatly .:evil6:

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No ODD news ? ,

today was the Gravy wrestling world championships , hosted in Lancashire UK the home of gravy ,

and as any Brit male will agree , " you can't beat a good gravy and Dumplins "

BTW for those not sure on Dumplings http://www.cookuk.co.uk/vegetarian/dumplings.htm

they were the staple diet in England for years during and after WW2 , even into the 60's ,

indeed meat only on Sundays with as much veg as you can eat + a pair of dumplins ,

Bliss indeed , sure beats a big Mc and fries ,sadly try asking todays gal to cook dumplins ,

they reply "do what ! " lol

the UK food ration per person in 1944 , along with the fine for breaking the ration limit .

and we think life is tough today ?





food per person a week.txt

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Hey , we here in the US need some good gravy wrestling.

Dumpling used to be an absolute favorite of mine, when they made them. Now it's boxed frozen tripe.

Hell the frickin chicken isn't even meat anymore , it's wheat with chikkin sludge emulsion , pressed to buck turd sized blobs and flash frozen.

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Some sort of wheat chemically changed to appear as if it is meat, it's done for those veggies out there, and has trickled over to almost all of the food in the grocery.

Of course I'm not speaking of a whole chicken, I used to enjoy some brands of frozen chicken patties, a quick chomp and back to work. Now the damn things aren't even meat. This wheat filler tripe is instead made them un edible, and not anything resembling a chicken patty.

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the UK  today ,indeed they are breeding ,

This is a small collection of letters sent to a South of England Newspaper who had asked for examples
of stupidity


 My daughter and I went to the McDonald's drive through check-out window to pay our bill and I gave the assistant a £5 note.
Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her £5 and a  20 pence piece.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'
  The assistant then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.

 Do not confuse the assistants at MacDonald's !!


 We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'  enough motor on the opener
I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'
We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park , near Watford .


 I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign from our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing, any-more.

 Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire.


 My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.
 From South Oxhey , Hertfordshire.


 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

 Happened at Luton Airport


 When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the Driver's door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'it’s open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.'

 This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans , Hertfordshire.

 STAY ALERT! They walk among us. AND THEY BREED!

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Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.'
(The Daily Telegraph)

Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.
(The Manchester Evening News)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'.
(The Times)

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
( Aberdeen Evening Express)

Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled -
'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.''
( Bournemouth Evening Echo)

A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...

1) 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.'

2) 'Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.'

3) 'Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Mile End and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination.'

4) 'Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'.'

5) 'We are now travelling through Baker Street ... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that'.

6) 'Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.'

7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: 'Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not provided.'

8) 'Let the passengers off the train FIRST!' (Pause ) 'Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home....'

9) 'Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions.'

10) 'Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.'

11) 'We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.'

12) 'To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage -- what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?'

13) 'Please move all baggage away from the doors.' (Pause..) 'Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.' (Pause...) 'This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!'

14) 'May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.'

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Hi guys  , it's been a long time

Just posting ( who groaned at the back ? ) just got out of my usage limit of 40Gb a month , now feel like a sprinter coming off the starting blocks ,

Now on unlimited  for $12 US a month cheaper , same  ISP BT our original national phone/internet provider,  by   = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZZD8ckwLJA ,    

It worked maybe  coz I now have Virgin Cable available  , for me  "non merci"

Also not been around much , been doing a farewell tour of the UK , while I am still able , :-)

Noticed my rating is stuck at 127 , heck me and Muddy were neck and neck what seems like only yesterday , 

What can I say “ vote for me “ just don’t ask me about Tech stuff  ,I only do the unique English sense of humour thing ,  although I am not English ,  just lived along side them for many years , it sort of rubs off I guess:-0

anyway have a great 2016

Best regards




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On 04/12/2015, 01:07:09, mudmanc4 said:
On 04/12/2015, 01:07:09, mudmanc4 said:

I don't mind you, it's always nice to have you around Roco.


Thanks, I am just happy to still be around Testmy.Net ,  it's been some years now just checked it will be 10  years next Feb , !!!

how time fliess  and things change , The UK sport of gravy wrestling , has been overtaken by women's rugby , the game normally played by guys with odd shaped balls , heck we now have females also playing with odd  shaped balls , and on my old Twickenham rugby ground , Sigh if I was only younger , would have made tackling head first more interesting

( it's to promote  the ladies rugby club )



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some UK news,WTF is going on in the UK , our divorce from Europe has split us more our less 50/50 , while hate murders are now  a higher % than  New YorkUSA, although we have no gun  legal ownership , but  knife murder is rampart . just glad I wised up  and moved out of our capital city “ London “ and went rural 4 years back , even the village  FTTC is a usable 75 / 18Mbps  ping 6ms from my 10 mile overhead wire  connection to my  BT  centre   and yes  Testmy net is still my #1 test site  , thanks Ca3le


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