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Hail Canada...


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God is walking the border of his realm when he notices that the part of the fence between heaven and hell that satan is responsible for maintaining is, to put it mildly, fucked up. He calls up satan and tells him that if he doesn't get his cloven hoofed behind in gear he is gonna litigate. Satan just chuckles nonchalantly and says 'Sure, knock yourself out. but just where in heaven are you gonna find a lawyer?'


if there's a snake and a lawyer run over on a country road, what's the difference?

generally, there will be skidmarks in front of the snake.


what do you call 1000 dead lawyers on the seafloor?

a good start.


Why do scotsmen wear kilts?

Highland sheep have learned to recognize the sound of a zipper at more than 200 paces.

Scotland, where men are still men and sheep are nervous.

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