Xfinity Customer Greeting "should be" :
Thank You for calling Xfinity!
We're not happy until you're NOT happy!!!
Not to worry. Our Super Duper Tech Support Team will address & repair ALL of your issues in a New York minute!!!
Hold please while I a run a quick test. ... ... ... Well there you go. "Everything looks just fine" You are all set. Is there anything else I can help you with today?