resopalrabotnick

God is walking the border of his realm when he notices that the part of the fence between heaven and hell that satan is responsible for maintaining is, to put it mildly, fucked up. He calls up satan and tells him that if he doesn't get his cloven hoofed behind in gear he is gonna litigate. Satan just chuckles nonchalantly and says 'Sure, knock yourself out. but just where in heaven are you gonna find a lawyer?' /-/ if there's a snake and a lawyer run over on a country road, what's the difference? generally, there will be skidmarks in front of the snake. /-/ what do you call 1000 dead lawyers on the seafloor? a good start. /-/ Why do scotsmen wear kilts? Highland sheep have learned to recognize the sound of a zipper at more than 200 paces. Scotland, where men are still men and sheep are nervous.

i didn't know they had wally world in costa rica. or was this before you left the states?

hurr? that accident sounds weird, you couldn't cut loose the main and use the reserve? i thought even on mass drops they had reserves. though what good they are supposed to do from 300 feet, seeing as that crate w/o chute got what, 5 seconds?

http://www.collegehumor.com/?movie_id=101341 not too good quality, but hilarious. My favorite is the runaway LAPES truck.

A man walks into a bar and calls for quiet. Listen up, people. 50 bucks to the man that can cheer up my horse. He has been crying for 3 months straight now, he is so depressed i can't even get him to canter, and i am sick and tired of taking forever to get around. A guy steps away from the bar and tells him he's game. He goes outside with him, and the fellow looks the horse over. It is a magnificent stallion, but it is extremely depressed, sniffling softly into it's feed bag. He leans in close and whispers something in the horse's ear. almost immediately the horse starts chuckling, in the end dropping to the ground and rotfl. The owner happily pays the 50 bucks, and pulls the horse to it's feet. He mounts and the horse gallops off, a spring in it's step. A few weeks later the same horseowner comes back into the bar. He says that his horse has been laughing for a few weeks on end now, won't hardly feed, and frankly the constant shaking is making him sick when he rides it. He asks if someone can get it into a less humorous state of mind, this time offering 100 dollars. The same guy from a few weeks ago gets up, walks outside and leads the horse around the corner. A moment later, the familiar sobbing of the horse is heard once again. The man comes around the corner, grinning, and collects his fee, then settles back at the bar, orering a drink. the barkeeper looks at him and asks, puzzled, what in the hell did you do to that horse? The guy chuckles and says well, a few weeks ago i told him i was hung better than he was. The barkeeper laughs and asks what he did today. The guy just grins and says 'I proved it'.

thought it was him talking with his mouth full, but i fieldtested that, sounds more like smurf.

hm, pick a size fo the score database. guests don't get to log for more than 3 days, all other scores are saved until the chosen database size is reached, at which point the oldest saved score gets killed.

hm. kill non member scores after one month, give them incentive to sign up if they want to keep em longer. maybe keep member scores 6 months, any scores older than that get trimmed to the best score of the day or week?

if you work in a field where you have direct contact with customers, or direct contact with people for that matter, this helps. scout the location. find a room that is fairly soundproof, yet easily accessible to you and mostly void of other people. if necessary take a boombox along for the quest, place it in the room, then exit the room, and check how loud a noise will not be heard outside the room. remember this room well. when you get stressed out, seek out this room, and just have a good yell. repeat as necessary. this will help you deal calmly with the next person instead of taking their head off just because the person you just dealt with was a moron/jackass/bastard or whatever. i know this has saved a few customers of mine from some rather rude treatment.

hm, since this wasn't just a problem today, i think i will translate it. well, our network got overloaded. our engineers were all busy with one thumb up their ass and the other in their mouth playing switch. lucky for us the network load went down a little in the afternoon so we could say we were back to normal operational status. meanwhile the management is debating wether or not to schedule shutdowns so they can call it maintenance, buying them another few days in which to be dazzled by all the purty blinking collision leds on the backbone's switches. have a nice day.

:haha: well, that is true rev. but since we were talking about budget's, i find the comparison somewhat off, since anybody buying a big vendor box to get a decent rig for less would not have the resources to dump several tens of kilobucks into a vendor to earn the right to buy discounted parts to set up a relatively cheap 5 kilobuck box. right?

no, not moving to haiti. but if this place goes independent, that's what it will become. and yeah, this place is going downhill, and they've got their foot firmly planted on the accelerator. puerto ricans are american citizens. english is not taught in puerto rican public schools, and even some private schools do not teach it. one memorable moment: on a call in radio show on pretty much the only english language station next to npr a woman that works with churches to organize study trips to the states said that 3 of the kids, 17, 18 and 19 years old asker her if they needed a visa to travel there. about 50 percent of kids in public school drop out. we have the highest per capita cops in the entire us here i think, if not the whole damned world, but these guys get paid so badly, all they seem to do is drive around with their lights on all day, i guess to make sure the bad guys see em coming a mile away and book it. before the election they mobilized 500 national guardsmen to 'assist' the police. the intention was to have them give cover for drug busts etc. the effect was you had people getting a traffic ticket in broad daylight with an m-16 toting guardsman standing by the cruiser. the lack of wisdom of putting someone that is untrained in police procedure on the street with a full auto assault rifle i need not explain to you. iirc the training on guarding a perimeter stated that upon encountering someone on the premises of a base, he got 1 hail, 1 hail with warning that firearms will be used, a warning shot, and then steel on target. put me on the streets with that training, and a suspect tries to hoof it, well, you've got yourself some spicy 6 o'clock news. with a major chunk, around a third or so, of the islands budget being a freebie from uncle sam, there is such a lax attitude here, it is unbelievable. i guess english not being taught and people that speak good english being resented among some groups as statehooders leads to the fact that you have young adults that can not and do not want to learn english. i know the troubles i've had with car repairs, and if this state of affairs extends to boat repairs... the first spanish i picked up was manana. i gather it means sometime next month, if you're lucky.

don't do boating myself. i do know how though. have seen some marinas here, but nothing that had anything near that big out of the water, iirc. specially a sailboat. guess you could google and call around, butmy advice is, if you want decent work done, don't do it here. this place is going downhill fast, it's a bleedin' banana republic. most of the people here think staying a commonwealth is a good idea simply because the fed. gov. sends truckloads of cash down here and they don't pay federal taxes. it downright sucks. big time. then there's those that want independence. can you spell haiti? if you're willing to risk them dragging your boat out, then dropping it, and dragging it back in on it's side to right it... i can ask around.

you might actually be able to get it in english. since even the spanish versions of the discovery history and other channels usually have english as an alternate language. at least here in pr they do, and i suspect you're pretty much getting the same feed...

yeah, those 150 ms hops inside the planet are ugly, man.

what those people designing hybrids have to do is get their heads unplugged from their fourth point of contact. it seems to me they are spring loaded in the dumb position, designing better and better electric systems and then mating the thing to a gasoline engine. so far the only one planning a diesel electric hybrid is mercedes to my knowledge. btw, mercedes is also going to run a small production run of the grand cherokee with one of mercedes' diesels. that should perform nicely, but not as well as the touareg diesel. 5l V10 tdi, 330 horse and plenty more torque than a viper. mwahahaha.

the best way to hide a tank in plain sight is to just paint the sucker day glo pink. noone will be willing to say sir, there's a pink tank out there.

the they know it all is exactly why i love the show mythbusters on discovery. they don't just say no, that can't be right, they provide undeniable PROOF! have won a long argument about an urban legend by telling the guy to stfu until he watched a rerun of the pertinent episode. and he stayed su. he.

indestructable, you could never build a comparable comp for what thos major retailer boxes go for they get much better deals on the components because they have annual volume agreements with the manufacturers, meaning they agree to buy 3 gazillion processors in 2k5, so intel lops a third of the price, for example.

get your paws on a vw or other euro diesel. all you notice is slightly rougher noise, but no smel etc. they have come a long way. and even a jetta tdi will get 40mpg easy, and that's with good performance that's as much as the new hybrids do, without the fancy schmancy electric system in em.

one of the reasons why i prefer to run a diesel with a turbo. no fuel in it during compression, it gets injected right when it's supposed to ignite, so no worries. besides, if you're looking for torque to go cruising, even a little 4 banger diesel will match a big ol' V8

there is a canned chili at costco, stagg chili i think, that stuff is actually pretty damned good, for canned anyway.

spoken like a true lifer. something to be sid for a draft though. it, and the 50 percent or so that choose civil service instead of military service is the only thimg keeping the german healthcare system alive by offering cheap labor.

i find chorriza too firm, and the spices are a tad off. i like the sausage cause it's uncooked, so it crumbles nicely when frying

funny, up to the point where the tomahawk comes cruising for ya... zero tolerance!