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The Reverend

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

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Actual Headlines Of 2004

Crack Found on

Governor's Daughter

[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong

in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign

to Run Down Jaywalkers

[now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris

around Uranus?

[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails;

Veterinarian Takes Over

[what a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work

after Death

[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to

Try Shooting Defendant

[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope

for Peace

[i can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,

It May Last Awhile

[you think?!]

Cold Wave Linked

to Temperatures

[who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain;

Police Suspect Homicide

[they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds

Up New Bridges

[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning

Faces Battery Charge

[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity

Looks for Larger

Test Group

[weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes

Blame for Gas

in Spacecraft

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make

Nutritious Snacks

[Tastes like chicken?]

Local High School

Dropouts Cut in Half

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued

by Seven Foot Doctors

[boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through

Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

(Can you believe it?)

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On my school you get a get a copied 'book' called "Vademecum" for Dutch in 4th year, and the front page has the best headlines found in newspapers the previous year. Last year they were hilarious, now they're the best. I hope they can find even better ones. :shock:

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