"For every second you live you have one second less to live. So enjoy every second you have." My grandfather
"Live today as if there is no tomorrow."
"For most folks a penny is not worth picking up, but a hundred are worth it. My self, I pick them all up and let them add up in my pocket." ME
"Patience hell, I am going to kill something!"
"Actions speak louder than words"
"The only difference between a man and a boy, is the price of his toys." My ex-mother-in law
"Let's ROCK!" The Great "Al Bundy"
"I'll give you what for!" granny on the Beverly Hill Billies
"The crappiest items get the most advertising." ME
"Work Smart, Not Hard!" Dan Conners father on Roseanne
"A big couch in front of the TV, tuned in on daytime TV makes a wife's ass big." ME
(Just married, and what is one of the first things a new wife will say?) "Are you going to wear that thing." (Now remember, it is something she used to tell you you looked good in!)
"My best friend ran off with my Wife."
"Life is a bowl full of cherries, all smashed to hell."
"Don't throw rocks if you live in a glass house." (for those that do not know, this means that you should not say something about someone else doing something if you yourself are doing the same thing.)
"My dogs bigger than your dog!"
"Made you look!"
"Drink Milk."
"FORDS, first on race day."
"You can hear a Chevy rust on a quiet night."
"A married woman wanting advice for marriage problems, should not ever ask another woman. They will not be living with the same husband. And it will usually get you hurt." My mother
"Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble."
Sidney J. Harris
"Dr. Phil sucks." ME
"Oprah Winfred sucks." ME
"You learn the most by teaching!"
"Best to appear stupid, than to open you mouth and remove all doubt!"
"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it."
Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)
"I solve most of my problems in my sleep." ME
"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Enough for now. The unquoted ones are from my head, have no idea where from.