Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
xs1

APPLE is mean :(

Recommended Posts

APPLE: Hi, thanks for calling Apple. My name is Abraham. Do you have your serial number handy?

JH: No.

APPLE: Okay, I can help you find it. Is your computer up and running now?

JH: Yes.

APPLE: What color is the apple in the top left corner? Is it blue?

JH: I don't see an apple.

APPLE: In the top-left corner, the apple? Is it blue, or multi-colored?

JH: Right, there's no apple.

APPLE: In the very top-left corner?

JH: I know which corner is the top-left. There's no apple there.

APPLE: What do you see?

JH: I see a piece of paper with an E.

APPLE: Which screen are you looking at?

JH: My computer screen.

APPLE: No, I mean, what does your screen say?

JH: It says "Larger Balls and Penis, More Satisfaction."

APPLE: I'm sorry?

JH: I think I'm in e-mail. I keep getting these dirty ads in my Windows e-mail. Do you know how to turn them off?

APPLE: What kind of computer is this? Do you have an Apple?

JH: No, it's an IBM.

APPLE: You're calling for support on an IBM?

JH: No, I'm trying to get iTunes to play on my IBM.

APPLE: Oh, I see--

JH: I am trying to buy music online so I do not have to steal it illegally. I went to your iTunes site and downloaded the software, but my computer won't play it.

APPLE: Yeah, you're right, it won't. You need -- just a minute here -- I'm pretty sure you can't download iTunes music and play it on a PC. Let's see here. [pause] You could use MusicMatch Jukebox software, but you'd need an iPod in order to use it.

JH: Can I buy music through MusicMash?

APPLE: I'm pretty sure you can't. Let me take a look here. [pause] No, it's showing here that you cannot. You have to have an Apple. Let's see here -- bear with me here. [pause] Okay, so what you're going to need is a Mac computer running Mac OS X; otherwise, you won't be able to access iTunes Music Store.

JH: How do I buy music online, then?

APPLE: You'd have to go somewhere else other than iTunes Music Store. There's other places you can buy music -- I think buymusic.com is one of them. You'll just have to pull up a search engine and find them that way.

JH: You can't mail me a song on a floppy disk?

APPLE: Not through iTunes Music Store. You have to access it through iTunes. We can't do that for you.

JH: Why don't you guys support PCs?

APPLE: Because we're Apple.

JH: ...

APPLE: We do in some other ways, like if you have an iPod, we'd give you software to use it, but with our applications, we support our applications on our computers.

JH: Should I just start up Kazaa and steal my music?

APPLE: No, I can't say you should do that, but I'm saying iTunes Music Store isn't the only place you can buy songs.

JH: I was reading your website, and it said "shop till you bop." I really just want to, uh, shop till I bop. You're saying I can't shop till I bop?

APPLE: No, you can't. Because you have a PC.

JH: So there will be no bopping without an Apple.

APPLE: That's right, sir.

JH: Isn't it more expensive to buy an Apple than just buying the CD?

APPLE: Like I said again, there are places out there where you can download music on a Windows machine, same thing as iTunes, but for the PC. Not sure if it's exactly the same, but it's similar.

JH: I really want to shop til I bop.

APPLE: I'll be happy to sell you an Apple.

JH: I don't want an Apple. They're too heavy.

APPLE: We have some light ones too, like an iBook.

JH: I heard that iBooks can only be used in Starbucks.

APPLE: Well, in that case, I'm not sure what to say, but that's about all I can do for you. Okay?

JH: Could you hum the songs to me?

APPLE: NO.

And with that, he hung up on me. I had to admit, I was getting used to the way these calls are ending.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hmmm that is odd..you should have told the guy "then why can I download I-Tunes if I can't use it on my PC...after all it says it works on PC's too on the website" but that was funny yet mean...I feel his pain I work in a call center too :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahaha nice one ........ i've done kinda the same thing calling dell's support line wondering why, when i place a sound clip in like powerpoint, and then print out that slide, it doesnt play the sound clip .......... lame i know :) but i had fun heheh lOL, it was also done using the "sound boards" - if you've heard of that........(an example of a sound board http://www.ebaumsworld.com/arnolds4.html )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well since were talking about harassing people that work in the support part of a comapnay(not literally harassing) but u get the point, yeasterday I had fun being demanding and rude to my ISP's customer support group and to Time Warner, it was fun, especially when they didnt know what i was talking about.

Guess what Time Warner had no idea that they had upgraded their package to 5Mbps lol

Can u believe that?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:) Thats funny.LMAO .........some of these people cant think out of the box because they follow a script, I just had a similar conversation with a Verizon guy and hes trying to explain something to me and he doesn't have a clue what he is talking about and insist that if I knew anything about software or computers and all that B.S. maybe I could understand the point he was trying to make....lol....The question is did you get an Apple so you can shop till you bop???? lol.... over a year ago I talked to a tech support guy in India that worked for Dell and he told me he spoke perfect English to bad I wasn't able to understand him.....my response was I now see the problem I don't speak English I speak American....lol so I hung up and called back and got someone I could understand!!!

8) Microwave

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
That would make sense' date=' but when I spoke to Time Warner yesterday they told me the upgrade is for Roadrunner customers only so far, and that if I wanted a speed increase I should switch to Roadrunner, what crap :x[/quote']

If RoadRunner is offered in your area, why don't you switch? They obviously don't want your dollar too badly, so why not give it to someone who can almost double your speeds?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol!

I contacted verizon today, regarding my slow internet during 6-10pm

The guy sounded like a professional at first, and i told him exactly what i did. I told him i cleaned out my recycle bin, and whatever else the site told me i had to. Then i told him that sometimes when i tracert a site, it times out. He said "Thanks nice" and continued on asking if my modem was connected to a phone jack... i said yes it is. He asked me what type of phone wire i was using, i said a phone wire which is less than 14 feet long. He then said i should use the one that came with my modem. I said "yea ill do that later" and closed the damn chat.

And before this happened, i asked another support member why i was getting slow speeds from 6-10pm and she replied "Sorry, i cannot tell you why this is happening to you, do you have any questions?" and i said "How far am i from a CO?" and she replied "Well, my database says you are 10,000 feet from the CO, but this is unaccurate because its in the database (lol?) i just closed the char

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
That would make sense' date=' but when I spoke to Time Warner yesterday they told me the upgrade is for Roadrunner customers only so far, and that if I wanted a speed increase I should switch to Roadrunner, what crap :x[/quote']

I have earthlink as well, my friend 2 roads down has RR .. lmao innit great how these things work o.O.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
APPLE: Hi, thanks for calling Apple. My name is Abraham. Do you have your serial number handy?

JH: No.

APPLE: Okay, I can help you find it. Is your computer up and running now?

JH: Yes.

APPLE: What color is the apple in the top left corner? Is it blue?

JH: I don't see an apple.

APPLE: In the top-left corner, the apple? Is it blue, or multi-colored?

JH: Right, there's no apple.

APPLE: In the very top-left corner?

JH: I know which corner is the top-left. There's no apple there.

APPLE: What do you see?

JH: I see a piece of paper with an E.

APPLE: Which screen are you looking at?

JH: My computer screen.

APPLE: No, I mean, what does your screen say?

JH: It says "Larger Balls and Penis, More Satisfaction."

APPLE: I'm sorry?

JH: I think I'm in e-mail. I keep getting these dirty ads in my Windows e-mail. Do you know how to turn them off?

APPLE: What kind of computer is this? Do you have an Apple?

JH: No, it's an IBM.

APPLE: You're calling for support on an IBM?

JH: No, I'm trying to get iTunes to play on my IBM.

APPLE: Oh, I see--

JH: I am trying to buy music online so I do not have to steal it illegally. I went to your iTunes site and downloaded the software, but my computer won't play it.

APPLE: Yeah, you're right, it won't. You need -- just a minute here -- I'm pretty sure you can't download iTunes music and play it on a PC. Let's see here. [pause] You could use MusicMatch Jukebox software, but you'd need an iPod in order to use it.

JH: Can I buy music through MusicMash?

APPLE: I'm pretty sure you can't. Let me take a look here. [pause] No, it's showing here that you cannot. You have to have an Apple. Let's see here -- bear with me here. [pause] Okay, so what you're going to need is a Mac computer running Mac OS X; otherwise, you won't be able to access iTunes Music Store.

JH: How do I buy music online, then?

APPLE: You'd have to go somewhere else other than iTunes Music Store. There's other places you can buy music -- I think buymusic.com is one of them. You'll just have to pull up a search engine and find them that way.

JH: You can't mail me a song on a floppy disk?

APPLE: Not through iTunes Music Store. You have to access it through iTunes. We can't do that for you.

JH: Why don't you guys support PCs?

APPLE: Because we're Apple.

JH: ...

APPLE: We do in some other ways, like if you have an iPod, we'd give you software to use it, but with our applications, we support our applications on our computers.

JH: Should I just start up Kazaa and steal my music?

APPLE: No, I can't say you should do that, but I'm saying iTunes Music Store isn't the only place you can buy songs.

JH: I was reading your website, and it said "shop till you bop." I really just want to, uh, shop till I bop. You're saying I can't shop till I bop?

APPLE: No, you can't. Because you have a PC.

JH: So there will be no bopping without an Apple.

APPLE: That's right, sir.

JH: Isn't it more expensive to buy an Apple than just buying the CD?

APPLE: Like I said again, there are places out there where you can download music on a Windows machine, same thing as iTunes, but for the PC. Not sure if it's exactly the same, but it's similar.

JH: I really want to shop til I bop.

APPLE: I'll be happy to sell you an Apple.

JH: I don't want an Apple. They're too heavy.

APPLE: We have some light ones too, like an iBook.

JH: I heard that iBooks can only be used in Starbucks.

APPLE: Well, in that case, I'm not sure what to say, but that's about all I can do for you. Okay?

JH: Could you hum the songs to me?

APPLE: NO.

And with that, he hung up on me. I had to admit, I was getting used to the way these calls are ending.

LMFAO HAHA THATS ONE OF THE GREATEST, MOST FUNNIEST THING, I HAVE EVER SEEN LOL

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I bought my wife the Napster thing for $9.95USD a month and even with our d r a g g i n g DWay connection she has no trouble (the FAP limit is 800MB but she keeps her d/l's to 100 songs or less "at a setting" ...or 100 songs per day. That's cheap, always works, and if you transfer the songs to a diff puter they'll still play even if NOT hooked into the Internet. I don't know about the legal side of it, but nobody has been knocking on my door for over 9 months now...

Am I missing something here?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...