Jump to content

Surgically alters thumbs to better use iPhone


mudmanc4

Recommended Posts

Written by James Benfly   

Wednesday, 08 August 2007

Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling."

"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless."

"This is really, on the edge sort of stuff," explains Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who worked on developing the procedure. "We're turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency."

The procedure involved making a small incision into both thumbs and shaving down the bones, followed by careful muscular alteration and modification of the fingernails. While Martel's new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift "pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery - though opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise."

http://northdenvernews.com/content/view/922/2/

Whaa?.........Amazing, for years we have made products to accommodate the human body, now we are accommodating the human body, for products. Where will this lead next?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Hello, my name is Thomas Martel, and I'm so enslaved in my job, I'm willing to surgically alter my body to convienence the boss for making his workplace more efficient."

What a moron. That guy is more than a suit. It'd be really funny if it didn't pay off in the future! :2funny:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have to agree. Have we, as consumers, been convinced now that we must mutilate our bodies so that we can fit better into the mold that product developers say we should be.  I will in no way ever modify my body just so that I can use a peace of technology better. This man just actually said that he spend thousands of dollars so that he could use a PHONE better. (And it is an over priced phone at that). And on top of that, the fingers have the second largest grouping of nerves in the body. So on top of all the money that was spent, there was the pain and suffering he would go through. This guy is WAY beyond corporate tool.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What a moron. That guy is more than a suit. It'd be really funny if it didn't pay off in the future!  :2funny:

What would be funny is if his weak ass little girl thumbs snapped off. 

The name of the procedure "whittling" is enough to scare me... as if the doc is whittling your fingers like he was a hick sitting on a porch whistling the Andy Griffith tune  as if your fingers were a peice of oak... lol

I have to agree. Have we, as consumers, been convinced now that we must mutilate our bodies so that we can fit better into the mold that product developers say we should be.  I will in no way ever modify my body just so that I can use a peace of technology better. This man just actually said that he spend thousands of dollars so that he could use a PHONE better. (And it is an over priced phone at that). And on top of that, the fingers have the second largest grouping of nerves in the body. So on top of all the money that was spent, there was the pain and suffering he would go through. This guy is WAY beyond corporate tool.

Yeah, he's a fuckin tool for sure.. But it's not that bad to alter your body... I WOULD TOTALLY alter my body to better fit technology but nothing like this... I'd go for a brain implant to download data though :-P -- that-would-be-SICK!  But that doesn't make me a tool, it makes me a CYBORG!  A really, really, really kick ass cyborg!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

An iphone: $499

A telephone plan: $49.99

A data plan: $39.99

----------------------------------------------------

Surgically altering your fat thumbs using a procedure referred to as whittling to be able to use a shiny new device better known as an iphone: priceless

Visa - going where no big thumb has gone before.

..........dumbass

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:lol: is it so strange, as he said he is a big guy , and had his thumbs reduced ,

now if you compare that to all the millions of operations done to "improve" the body 

face lifts ,tucks breast enlargement ,breast reduction  penis enlargement , liposuction  , etc , it don't seem so odd to me in comparison ,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...